Funny Old Person Birthday Wishes

Birthday Wishes that Make You LaughWeather you want hilarious birthday wishes to make a home made birthday card strike a smile on the birthday boy’s face, or you just want to leave a funny note outside their door on their special day – we’ve got some great birthday wishes that is sure to get a chuckle or two.

Besides, what’s more fun than making fun of someone’s age on their birthday?

Remember you can always personalize any birthday saying to be about your birthday boy, in fact, that’s usually the best approach as it shows you took time to really make the them smile.

So take a look at this list of funny birthday wishes and if you have more funny quotes, sayings, or jokes not listed here, please let us know!


You are another year older, so count your blessings, not your wrinkles.

Remember your 16th birthday when you got to drive that cool new car? Nice of Henry Ford to loan it to you! Happy Birthday you old fart!

A few more of these, and we’ll all be celebrating in the nursing home. Happy Birthday!

Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have the harder it is to breathe!

When you were born, I heard an e-mail involved a guy on a horse and Google maps was a sketch on parchment paper… Happy Birthday!

Today we celebrate the day grandpa jumped into the chariot and rushed to the hay shed to deliver you. So lets make it a great celebration! Happy Birthday you old dude!

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down. Happy Birthday!

A few more years and we’ll be celebrating the fact that you still have your teeth! Happy Birthday

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. Welcome to OLD age!

Another year, another new place that aches. Happy Birthday!

Dad, you treat us kids so good… That’s why you still aren’t in one of those crooked nursing homes you see on 60 Minutes. Keep it up! Happy Birthday!

Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.

May you live to be old and toothless. So just another few years. Happy Birthday Dad!

Over the hill? Never, just on top enjoying the view. Happy Birthday!

People say that the good die young, so I guess that’s make you an old bad ass!

The older you get, the better you used to be. Enjoy your special day!

Fifty years old?! Wow, congratulations! Sit back, have a beer, update your will, and have a great Birthday!

A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age. How old are you today again? Happy Birthday!

Blowing out candles is good exercise for the lungs, especially at your age. Happy Birthday!

Who said you’re fifty? You are just a 20 year old with 30 years of experience.

Old age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you. Happy Birthday!

I’m not saying you’re old, you have just lived a lot longer than I’ve seen anyone live! Happy Birthday!

Just think of 50 as being your 2nd 25th birthday.

You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by “for your age.”

Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be.

It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

A few years ago you were young and smart, but know you are becoming an old fart…

I think you’re still like a 10 year old child, but five-fold smarter. Happy 50th Birthday!

Don’t worry about temptation — as you grow older, it starts avoiding you. Happy Birthday.

Every wrinkle has its story. You must have a lot of stories to tell. Happy 50th!

If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.

It’s ok to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.

Remember when 50 seemed old? You would if you weren’t so old! Happy Birthday!

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